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Lilly's Unique World View

Knock on my door, Please

I don't think Shelly and Joe like it when people drop by unannounced.

Take yesterday for example. It was a little after 7:00 PM and the doorbell rang. They put down their slices of pizza and gave each other quizzical looks. Joe got up and looked out the window to see a cub scout or webelos holding a catalog, and his older sister standing behind him. "It's some sort of boy-scout" he told Shelly. He went to open the door, but before he did, grabbed me by my collar . As he opened the door, I knew it was my time to shine. I lunged, fully knowing that Joe had me and I wasn't going anywhere.

The next five seconds are my favorite. My lunging always puts unannounced visitors back on their heels, but then they realize Joe has me and they relax a little. They've been properly lulled into a false sense of security. They start their spiel, "I'm running for office..." or "would you like to buy..." and I rev up. I take a deep breath and let loose with the loudest "wake the dead" bark a sixty pound, one-eyed pit bull can muster. The kid yesterday was selling popcorn, and his order sheet shook in his hands. It ended the way it always does. "We're not interested" Joe will say, pretending to struggle to contain me. The visitor happily moves on to the next house, a little shaken, but hopefully a little wiser.

I feel I'm providing a service. First, most times Joe and Shelly aren't interested in anything the knocking-uninvited is offering (although Joe does miss Thin Mint Girl Scout Cookies). They've got family to buy from already. Second, we're the first house in the neighborhood, so odds are good we're the first door they've knocked on. As long as they keep going, we're probably the toughest door knock they're going to face all night. As long as they don't quit, the worst is probably over. To paraphrase Nietzsche, what does not kill them, will make them stronger. I make them stronger!

I'm still puzzled why Shelly and Joe prefer not to have unannounced visitors . Maybe they're not as giving as I am.

My name is Lilly. I'm looking forward to Halloween!

Lilly's Blog Archive

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